Childless Mother's Day

Mother's Day for myself and other infertile one day mommy's can be really hard. I'm not one to be saddened on a day like this, I usually make it through this day without jealousy but this year it was hard. As I scrolled through my Facebook wall, I saw many wonderful mothers getting Mothers day wishes and I myself have sent some out. But not once did anyone wish me a happy mothers day and it's probably because no one wanted to offend me or think because I haven't had a child of my own that I'm not a mother.

I'd like to say that even though I may not be a mother in the sence of the word, that I haven't given birth or been pregnant. I became a step-mom in 2010 and remained a legal parent up until 2014, when we made a decision that was in the best interest of the children but in my heart I still love our kids and always will, Just because we can't see them doesn't make our love any less valid. I'm also a mother in my heart to my future children. I have dreamed, wished, prayed, and longed for my child everyday for 6 1/2 years. Many people have told us "not try so hard that it will come naturally" "that if it is in Gods plans for us we will be parents" Or maybe "It's not just meant to be".

Let me ask you this, say your child was never born, say you never became pregnant. Would you have just given up on trying? Could you imagine not having your child? What if you heard over and over the above statements or got left out on these special days.

I understand that for some people what we are going through is taboo and may seem like we are overreacting or that we are seeking pity which is by far the last thing we want, we want to educate others and help people better understand that infertility is real and has many many ways of affecting a couple. That no matter how calm we may be, or how patient we are. Becoming parents wont be as easy as relaxing and waiting for it to happen, That without medical and sciences help it just wont happen for us.

I believe that Gods plan for how a couple conceives a child is different for everyone. You may have just try'd once or didn't try at all and got your beautiful child or you try'd for years and conceived naturally. But for us God gave us doctors to help assist him with helping us through science to conceive that if we didn't try so hard by going to multiple doctors visits and doing painful fertility treatments that the possibility to become parents wouldn't even be an option.

So I just want to remind everyone that on days like mothers day, fathers day, and grandparents day or holidays in general. There are many who struggle on these days with infertility, loss of a parent, and loss of a child/grandchild ect... and just because you can't see how hard it may be for those who struggle. Try and remember they may be grieving and not to forget them